I once was a little girl full of words and wisdom for every “friend” around me. I saw the world as my place to meet new people, and everyone would be my friend. I remember one October evening when my family took me on a fall outing, the first thing my dad told me was, Jennifer, we don’t talk to strangers. Sure, Dad, but these people aren’t strangers; they are my friends. I remember my mom taking me to the clothing store, and I would do somersaults on the carpeted floor and hide in the middle of the circular clothing racks. Then, when someone would go look for clothes, I would start talking to them. I remember getting lost in the mall, and my family was worried sick as they looked for me. That was the day I got to make friends with the mall cop.
What is it about being a child that makes us want to talk to the world and become best friends forever with everyone? As an adult, I have changed quite a bit. I hate talking on the phone; I prefer texting, emailing, messaging, Marcoing, Zooming, and all the like. However, when it comes to being in person with people, I shy away from them. Sadly, what I have come to realize as an adult is that when you share your heart, not everyone wants to hear it, not everyone cares, and not everyone wants to be my friend. Rejection is real. Hurt is real. But what I am slowly discovering in my middle-aged years is that what I thought mattered doesn’t. There will always be people who have no desire to listen to my views and may even criticize them. There will always be people who try to put me down because I am not like them. I will always face rejection and hurt, because that is what others struggle with. When they are rejected, hurt, or angry, they need someone to blame and take it out on—collateral damage.
What matters to me now are the mindful connections with people who genuinely want to have them with me. I am trying to find my kid self again and see the people who desire to have coffee with me, do Pilates with me, pray with me, and allow me to be me, as I am with them. These mindful connections are interactions where, as we sit face-to-face, we are fully present, fully aware of the other person and their needs, listening and showing empathy when needed. These are the people who allow me to be myself, but also challenge me to be a better version of myself. These are the people who desire a deeper connection with me, to share an understanding of our emotions, our needs, and our values. Mindful connections seek honesty and ask for clarity. They offer strength and empowerment, as well as guidance to something bigger and better.
I have been blessed in my life to have such connections with many beautiful people. Their radiance and positivity have allowed me to share that with others I encounter: the barista who had a long day, the grocery store clerk who just helped me reach an item, the mom with her screaming child, who looks like she is barely making it. My kid-self says these are connection points, let’s be friends. These actually are moments I get to let others know they are not alone and they are noticed. One kind smile, a few words of encouragement, or a simple expression of gratitude can change their moment for the better — and maybe even the whole day. Connect.
I wouldn’t be true to myself or God if I didn’t address the real mindful connection that calls out to me and you. The one connection, for many of us, that our hearts desire—the connection with Christ, our Savior.
The one thing I am grateful for is that no matter what we have done in our past, Christ still longs for our hearts. He longs for those mindful connections with us. I battled with this in the past, thinking that I couldn’t honestly approach Christ until I was doing everything I could to be perfect, which I continually fell short of. I put a massive burden on my shoulders to carry the weight of the sin that Christ had already saved me from. I had to be sure to say the perfect prayer, be perfectly humble, and not have any evil or ill-intentioned thoughts about anyone. I was so busy worrying about what I was or wasn’t doing right that I lost the relationship that I had with Christ. It became about rules and regulations when it should have been about having a heart for Christ. I actually feel remorseful to God for thinking I could do what only Christ could do.
I thought that by doing all the right things, it would make me right with God, but in reality, it made me selfish and judgmental towards myself and others in the church. However, there is a connection: Christ didn’t call us to be perfect. He called us to believe, and by believing, we accept the Holy Spirit into our lives. We begin to desire Him more, not with the focus on doing things right, but with the focus on having a mindful connection with Christ to learn of His faithfulness, His love, His gift to us, His mercy, His kindness, and His righteousness.
When I worship God in church today, tears run down my face, not because of my wrong doings, or my past perfectionism, but because I am healed and forgiven by God. My relationship with Him now is that I bring the genuine, raw me into His arms. Every day, I read His word with desire and understanding, not because I have to, but because I get to. This is where I learn about who He is and how He has changed my life. I desire Christ. I will stand before God without fear, knowing that I am saved, why? Because I have a relationship with Christ. I AM SAVED because I choose to believe, and my belief leads me to have the deepest, most mindful connection I could ever have. He desires us like no one else ever has. Jesus is my best friend, and I am free because of His love for me…. And He offers that to you, too. Will you have a mindful connection with Him?
Galatians 2:20 ESV
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
John 15:1-27 ESV
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
John 15:4 ESV
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me.
Psalm 23:1-6 ESV
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
